Monday, July 26, 2004
why?
i must say, today's a v bad day for me... shall not elaborate here coz it's rather personal, but it had really affected me pretty badly, and i must say it's a combination of hurt, fear, struggles within myself, lost and irritation... pretty weird huh? i really donno how to describe this but ya, tt's wat's happening...
oh well, u noe the thing abt blogs? some ppl are just too frank abt wat's happening in their lives tt they practically spill everything out in their blog, yet some ppl are jus too conservative, or to put it not so nicely, fake on their blog. it's as if life is bliss for them, and there are no probs, troubles, etc etc... i don mean to shoot anyone, but seriously tt's wat i think, n thus i'm trying v hard to strike a balance in btwn...
define "struggle". According to dictionary.com, struggle means "to make a strenuous effort". i myself define "struggle" as something against my own will. all of us face struggles, be it physical, mental, psychological or emotional. i've nv come across someone who has nv experienced pain, never experienced fear, never experienced hurt. face it. there has never been, and never will be. but i suppose it's e way we deal wif the struggles that is important, as tt's what builds us up. it is not easy, neither is it comfortable (come on, it's not called "struggle" for no reason), but it is thru painful processes that a beautiful thing can be obtained.
I always lyked this little illustration in the form of a story. a potter took this clump of red clay and started to shape and make it into a teacup. he rolled and patted e clay over and over until it yelled out, 'Let me alone', but he only smiled, 'Not yet.'
then the clay placed on a spinning wheel where it was suddenly spun ard and ard and ard. the clay screamed for the wheel to stop, but the master said, 'Not yet.'
Then the clay was put in the oven, where intense heat burned dwn on it. it yelled and knocked at the door, asking to be let out, but again the potter said 'Not yet.'
Finally the clay was placed on the shelf, and it began to cool. But not long aft, the potter brushed and painted it all over.The fumes were horrible and the clay cried for the potter to stop. He only nodded, 'Not yet.'
Then suddenly he put the clay back into the oven, which was twice as hot as the first. the clay begged. pleaded. screamed. yet all the potter said was 'Not yet.'
After a while the clay thought it cldnt take it anymore, but the door opened and it was placed on the shelf. An hour later the clay saw it's beautiful reflection in the mirror.
The potter said to the clay, 'i noe it hurts to be rolled and patted, but if i had left you alone, you wld hav dried up. i noe it made you dizzy to spin around on the wheel, but if i had stopped, you wld hav crumbled. I knew it hurt and was hot in the oven, but if i hadn't put you there, you wld hav cracked. I now e fumes were bad when I painted you all over, but if I hadn't done that, you nv wld hav hardened; you wld not hav had any color in ur life. And if I hadn't put you back in tt second oven, you wouldn't survive for v long becoz e hardness wld not hav held. Now you are a finished product. You are what I had in mind when I first began with you.'
Nice huh?
This story always reminds me tt God noes wad He's doing for all of us. He is e potter and I am His clay. He will mold and make me, so that i may be made into a flawless piece of work to fulfill His good, pleasing, and perfect will. He may need to place some struggles in my life to strengthen my character so tt i may be strong in the days of greater adversity.
There are times when i do get discouraged when e struggle seems overwhelming. but i trust tt God noes exactly when to pull me out and deliver me from tt problem, n when He does so i'll be able to b wiser and stronger than i was before. He noes my limits, n i believe He'll nv give me more than wat i'm able to withstand, thus struggles in my life are jus e building, not tearing dwn, of my inner strength.
i struggle. i cry. i fight. but i really hope tt thru all these my character n inner strength is built, n i'd b moulded into a person aft His heart. may my view of struggles change..
xiao jo
@ 11:14 PM
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